Sunday, January 8, 2012

First Goodbyes of the Year

Today the hubby left for his first of three pre-deployment trainings. This one will have him gone for 6 weeks. During that time he'll miss Noah's volleyball season, Jonah's 8th birthday, and Valentines Day.
I am frusterated with myself because I was pretty weepy this morning. I know that six weeks is a long time to be away from someone, but I'm a military wife dang it! I should be able to handle a month-and-a-half stint like it's nothing! And then I keep thinking that if I had a hard time with him leaving now for the East Coast for a few weeks, what am I going to be like when May rolls around and he leaves for an entirely different country for 6-9 MONTHS?
Part of me feels like I have no right to be upset that he's leaving for awhile because we've been so fortunate with deployments. Our military life has been a cake-walk compared to other military families. So who am I to shed a tear over a mere 6 weeks?
But the other part of me says that I have every right in the world to be sad. Hubby reminded me (as I was apologizing to him for being a crybaby) that NO time apart from each other should be easy, and when we say goodbye for more than a day or two and it isn't hard for us, then that's when we should be worried.
And I know that he's completely right. It's just hard for me to show weakness when I feel like I have to be strong all the time.


Nikki said...

No one can be strong all the time, especially in times like this. We are only human.
I felt the same way when I went through my ordeal in 2010. It felt good to finally break down because it relieved all that pressure I was feeling. I felt I had to prove to everyone that I was strong all the time. It is good to cry and get it all out. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign that you have feelings and care what is going on around you.
Miss you guys and wish we could be closer so we could keep you company while Bobby's gone.

MN Mom said...

Bobby is absolutely right, when you have no emotions over him leaving is when you truly have problems. Crying is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign that you truly love your husband and want him around. That you will miss him. You're strong enough to show this emotion and show your feelings, yet you will carry on. You will become mom and dad for the next 6 weeks. I think it's perfectly fine to cry! I remember crying when Trevor left for Texas for two weeks. Being a military wife, weeks apart is a cake walk. Months are much harder. But it's the fact of how long you are apart, it's simply the fact that you are apart. A piece of you gone!