Friday, February 25, 2011

It's an adjustment.

Last night my oldest, laid back as can be son had a meltdown.

He is not really a meltdown type. He's so cool, calm & collected most of the time. He played it off like he was frusterated with his homework, but then I heard the truth in the form of a mutter: "I hate Oklahoma. I wish we never left South Carolina."

And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The hubby & I had noticed some uncharacteristicly low grades coming home in his folders lately, and a major attitude brewing. Granted, he's 9 and I've been told that the attitude of teenagers starts early, but it was so out of the norm for him. He's such a go-with-the-flow kind of kid. These were signs of him not adjusting, and I just didn't see it. I was too busy wallowing in my own self-pity of hating the crazy, can't-make-its-mind-up weather and longing for my friends and the beach that I didn't even realize he was having an even harder time acclimating that I was. Way to be an on-the-ball mom. Nice.

I feel like it's partly my fault, too, because I'm guilty of voicing my complaints about Oklahoma in the presence of my kids. I realized last night that if I want my kids to succeed in getting used to a new place, then I need to show them how. I can't just expect them to dive in headfirst and come up smiling. I need to show them how to hold their noses and then swim to the surface. I need to give them positives instead of just pointing out the negatives. And I'm the first one to tell you I'm a pessimist, so that's going to be a major working point for me. But if it means that my kids will be better able to cope with a new environment, then I will bust my butt to get myself in the right mindset to make that happen.

It's going to be a process, I'm sure, but I know that they'll get there. We all will.

(It will definitely help if the weather can warm up and keep the snow and rain and tornado threats away though!)


The Learned Lady said...

Aww.... don't be so hard on yourself! You are an amazing mom, and it's not like all you've been doing is wallowing in self-pity! You are busy making a new home for all of you in a new place; that's a hard job, especially with 3 kids! Hindsight is 20/20 but if he'd never done this before, there was no way you could have predicted this would happen now. Hang in there! I know it's hard on all of you to move around - but I think you guys spend a lot of great time together as a family, and that's where the love and support comes from that matters the most. He'll be back to himself before you know it :) - kids are resilient like that. Love ya babe! Your friends in Florida miss you.....

Becca said...

Things will work out Jen! I know it's not easy, but I know things will get better. I am praying for you guys!