Last night my oldest, laid back as can be son had a meltdown.
He is not really a meltdown type. He's so cool, calm & collected most of the time. He played it off like he was frusterated with his homework, but then I heard the truth in the form of a mutter: "I hate Oklahoma. I wish we never left South Carolina."
And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The hubby & I had noticed some uncharacteristicly low grades coming home in his folders lately, and a major attitude brewing. Granted, he's 9 and I've been told that the attitude of teenagers starts early, but it was so out of the norm for him. He's such a go-with-the-flow kind of kid. These were signs of him not adjusting, and I just didn't see it. I was too busy wallowing in my own self-pity of hating the crazy, can't-make-its-mind-up weather and longing for my friends and the beach that I didn't even realize he was having an even harder time acclimating that I was. Way to be an on-the-ball mom. Nice.
I feel like it's partly my fault, too, because I'm guilty of voicing my complaints about Oklahoma in the presence of my kids. I realized last night that if I want my kids to succeed in getting used to a new place, then I need to show them how. I can't just expect them to dive in headfirst and come up smiling. I need to show them how to hold their noses and then swim to the surface. I need to give them positives instead of just pointing out the negatives. And I'm the first one to tell you I'm a pessimist, so that's going to be a major working point for me. But if it means that my kids will be better able to cope with a new environment, then I will bust my butt to get myself in the right mindset to make that happen.
It's going to be a process, I'm sure, but I know that they'll get there. We all will.
(It will definitely help if the weather can warm up and keep the snow and rain and tornado threats away though!)
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2 comments:
Aww.... don't be so hard on yourself! You are an amazing mom, and it's not like all you've been doing is wallowing in self-pity! You are busy making a new home for all of you in a new place; that's a hard job, especially with 3 kids! Hindsight is 20/20 but if he'd never done this before, there was no way you could have predicted this would happen now. Hang in there! I know it's hard on all of you to move around - but I think you guys spend a lot of great time together as a family, and that's where the love and support comes from that matters the most. He'll be back to himself before you know it :) - kids are resilient like that. Love ya babe! Your friends in Florida miss you.....
Things will work out Jen! I know it's not easy, but I know things will get better. I am praying for you guys!
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