Deployment Countdown

Last time the hubby got deployed I made a big countdown calendar to hang on the door to help the boys get a sense of how long Daddy would be gone.  Noah turned 4 while he was away, and Jonah was just a year and a half.  I added all the special events so that they could have things to look forward to and make the time pass.
Then when the hubby got sent to FLETC in 2010 for four months I made another one.  It's sort of become a tradition when he leaves for more than two months at a time.
I finally got the calendar made for this tour and man-oh-man is it big.  The biggest I've ever made. 

It's three posterboards tall and had to be hung on the wall instead of the door this time.  We don't have a return date this far out, just a projected homecoming day.  I went about a week and a half past that and I'm praying I don't have to add more paper.

I can smile.

Friday morning I woke up to a quick email from the hubby telling me that he arrived safely.  I hadn't heard from him since Wednesday afternoon between flights and I was trying to keep calm.  I know from previous deployments that I have to be patient, but just because I know that doesn't mean it was easy.  I kept reminding myself that no news is good news.

Then, Friday afternoon my phone rang with a number I didn't recognize and I almost didn't answer.  Boy, am I glad I did!  It was my hero on the other end and it was so great to hear his voice.  I wasn't expecting a phone call because in the craziness of pre-deployment, we forgot to buy calling cards.  All three of the kids happened to be in the house at the time and I put the hubby on speaker but didn't tell the them who it was.  I said "Okay, say hi" and when he did, you should've seen the way their faces lit up! 

He called again late last night (his early morning) and I went to bed for the first time all week with a smile on my face.

And again this afternoon my phone rang (I don't think twice now when that number shows up on my caller I.D.) and the kids all got to say hello.  We can't wait for his internet to get hooked up so that we can Skype.  But until then I will soak up every second of every phone call and replay it in my head until the next time my phone rings.

Mixed emotions.

Alot has happened again.  We moved into a newer house on base (which is AMAZING.)  I still hate Oklahoma but at least I love my house.  Noah's finger is completely healed and will not need surgery.  Hallelujah!   The kids are out of school for the summer.  I hope I can keep them busy over the next 3 months!!

Today is the day that we've been dreading since late last year.  My hubby left for deployment.  We were able to get family gate passes so that we could wait with him there until he boarded.  It was very emotional.  He flew in civilian clothes so when we started hugging and crying we got alot of side glances and I even saw a few people roll their eyes.  It made it that much harder for me.  I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve and for people to just assume I'm overreacting to a business trip really made me upset. 

The kids had a hard time with it...especially Noah and Sophia.  Noah's old enough to understand it more than the other two.  And Sophia is so in love with her daddy that she didn't want to let go.  It was rough.

My heart is so full of love and pride for my husband, yet it is empty because he is not here.  I am fighting within myself to stay strong for my kids who need me now more than ever, but all I want to do is go to bed and not get up until these six months are over. 

Now we try to dry our eyes and hike up our boot straps and move on. Not every day will be this hard and we'll get into a routine. Soon our lives will look normal on the outside but to us each day will be anything but.  Life must go on and I pray it does so quickly!

Almost Done with One

We are finally close to the end of the hubby's first training. One week from today and he'll be back home. For about a week. Then we'll have to say goodbye again for training numero dos.
Of course my emotions are all over the place. I'm excited and have butterflies in my stomach because we haven't seen him since 8 January...which by next Friday will be two days shy of 6 weeks. I'm so happy that my kids get their daddy back and that I get my hubby back (wink wink). But knowing that we only have him home for eight days before he has to leave again sucks. And I also have the nagging thoughts in the back of my mind that every TDY that passes is bringing us that much closer to the big goodbye in May- his deployment. God only knows how much we're dreading that one.
This will be his first deployment in 6 years. Yep...you read that right. We are so SO blessed and I don't let that fact escape me. We've been able to have Daddy home for all the big events for six years now and we got very used to that. And that fact makes this deployment that much harder. Last time hubby was deployed, Noah was 4, Jonah was almost 2 and Sophia wasn't even a glimmer in our eye. Now we have a 10 year old, an 8 year old, and a 4 year old Daddy's girl. The boys are older and more aware of what's going on in the world and that their dad's job is a dangerous one. And while Sophia doesn't understand it like the boys do, she's still having a hard time wrapping her head around it. Daddy will be deployed over her 5th birthday and to Daddy's little princess, that is the end of the world. We're planning to have a late birthday party for Jonah (who just celebrated his birthday last week, but Dad was away) and an early birthday party for Sophia in May before hubby deploys. Unfortunately he'll also miss Noah's birthday in October. We're still working out something super special for him.
The hubby and I are trying to come up with ways to make the deployment easier for them. I found an Etsy seller (Carly's Homefront) that makes photo pillows for military families. All we have to do is purchase the pillow ($10 each) and email her a picture of hubby in his uniform and she will make a Daddy pillow. This is going to be a HUGE help for the kids. Every night they'll be able to hug "Daddy" and see his face. Talk about reassurance for little minds. We also decided to get the kids each their own Survival Bracelet. These are all over the place now and I've seen many a military member wearing them since I've became a military wife almost 11 years ago. They're a simple strand of paracord woven into a bracelet, but with one strategic pull they come apart and the paracord is available for use. Now of course I don't intend to have my kids in any type of situation that will warrant the pulling apart of the bracelet, but we thought it would be a good tool to help them "survive" the deployment. Any time they look at the cord on their wrist they'll remember that they're just as strong as their daddy and they'll get through this too. And earlier this week I recieved an email from MyAirForceLife.com and it had this link to a new website developed for kids whose parents are deployed. It's called Military Kids Connect. There are all kinds of resources for kids (ages 6-17) and parents too. I signed the boys up for it and will definitely make it a regular computer-time stop for them.
And then there's trying to help us stay connected with each other. We'll write letters and emails and I'll mail him care packages. We'll have some chances to Skype and email and talk on the phone, but they will most likely be few and far between due to the nature of the hubby's job. I cannot go into detail but basically he won't have access to computers/phones/etc much of his deployment. While he's been away at training we have decided to "challenge" each other. We're doing a monthly challenge up until he deploys, where we each set a health/fitness goal for ourselves, and if we meet the goals, we reward ourselves at the end of the month with something we've been wanting to do, but haven't justified spending money on. Then, when he gets deployed we are going to set a long-term goal for ourselves, and keep each other accountable with emails/phone calls as often as possible throughout the 6-9 mos he's away. If we can achieve the "Big Goal", we will have a bigger, joint reward upon his return. We haven't nailed it down yet but we're thinking that a weekend away just the two of us will be just what we'll be needing after almost a year apart.
It's not going to be a piece of cake, and I'm sure I'm going to complain and be pissed at the military at least once while he's gone, but I will do the very best I can to be a supportive wife and a good mom (and dad) to our children back here at home. Because really, the best thing I can do for him is to keep the homefires burning and assure him that we will be okay.

Life's about to get crazy.

Well, the time has come.
The hubby is getting deployed next year.
We knew it was coming, so we were pretty prepared for it. We've been so blessed that this will only be his third deployment (in 11 years) and that he hasn't had to be deployed since 05/06. So. Blessed.
What I wasn't prepared for, however, was all the pre-deployment training he'd have to do beforehand (thanks to the new job) and the moving-up of the deployment date. We say our first goodbyes in about a week and a half.
He will miss so much of 2012...the entirety of Noah's school volleyball season and most likely all of baseball season for the three kids as well. He'll miss all three kids birthdays, Valentine's Day, my birthday, Memorial Day, 4th of July, my sister's wedding in July (which all three of my kids and myself with be in), Noah's first day of middle school, Jonah's first day of 3rd grade, Sophia's first day of Kindergarten, Halloween, and possibly Thanksgiving and Christmas. We do know he'll be home for Easter and his birthday, but aside from that we're not guaranteed.
It's going to be tough, I'm sure, and it'll definitely be hard on the kids because the boys don't really remember hubby's last deployment, and he's never been gone for more than a couple of weeks since Sophia was born. And she is definitely a Daddy's Girl. I'm keeping my head up and pressing on.
Because honestly, what else can you do when you're a military wife?
I REFUSE to be a pouty, crybaby wife. Yes, I'm frusterated about the timing because now I have to get myself, the dog and the kids to Florida this summer alone, and I'm not quite sure how that will work out. And I'm frusterated for the kids that he'll miss so many things that are big for them. But I have to remember that we've been a damn fortunate military family and I need to be thankful for that.

But if you want to send up a prayer or two for us over the next year, that would be good too. Because I'm sure we'll need it.

The Soldiers' Night Before Christmas

We found this book at our BX when we were stationed in Arizona. This great adaptation of the old classic is by Trish Holland and Christine Ford. It's one of my kids' favorite Christmas books, because it helps them to realize that even people who are deployed still have Christmas. While they're daddy isn't deployed this year, he has missed more than one Christmas with our family. Anyway, I just wanted to share this, as almost anything relating to the military is close to my heart.

The Soldiers' Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the base

Only sentries were stirring-they guarded the place.

At the foot of each bunk sat a helmet and boot

For the Santa of Soldiers to fill up with loot.

The soldiers were sleeping and snoring away

As they dreamed of "back home" on a good Christmas Day.

One snoozed with his rifle-he seemed so content.

I slept with the letters my family had sent.

When outside the tent there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my rack to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Poked out my head, and yelled, "What was that crash?"

When what to my thrill and relief should appear,

But one of our Blackhawks to give the all clear.

More rattles and rumbles! I heard a deep whine!

Then up drove eight Humvees, a jeep close behind...

Each vehicle painted a bright Christmas green,

With more lights and gold tinsel than I'd ever seen.

The convoy commander leaped down and he paused.

I knew then and there is was Sergeant McClaus!

More rapid than rockets, his drivers they came

When he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Cohen! Mendoza! Woslowski! McCord!

Now, Li! Watts! Donetti! And Specialist Ford!

Go fill up my sea bags with gifts large and small!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away, all!"

In the blink of an eye, to their trucks the troops darted.

The engines did flutter, they sputtered, then started.

The armored moved out-it was "Duty or bust."

McClause disappeared in all of the dust!

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

Through the tent flap the sergeant came in with a bound.

He was dressed all in camo and looked quite a sight

With a Santa hat added for this special night.

His eyes-sharp as laser! He stood six feet six.

His nose was quite crooked, his jaw hard as bricks!

A stub of cigar he held clamped in his teeth.

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath.

A young driver walked in with a seabag in tow.

McClaus took the bag, told the driver to go.

Then the sarge went to work. And his mission today?

Bring Christmas from home to the troops far away.

Tasy gifts from old friends in the helmets he laid.

There were candies, and cookies, and cakes, all homemade.

Many parents sent phone cards so soldiers could hear

Treasure voices and laughter of those they held dear.

Loving husbands and wives had mailed photos galore

Of weddings and birthdays and first steps and more.

And for each soldiers' boot, like a warm, happy hug,

There was art from the children at home sweet and snug.

As he finished the job-did I see a twinkle?

Was that a small smile or instead just a wrinkle?

To the top of he brow he raised up his hand

And gave a salute that made me feel grand.

I gasped in surprise when, his face al aglow,

He gave a huge grin and a big "Ho!Ho!Ho!"

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" from the barracks and then from the base

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" as the convoy sped up into space.

As the camp radar lost hom, I heard this faint call:

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS,

BRAVE SOLDIERS!

MAY PEACE COME TO ALL!"