I can smile.

Friday morning I woke up to a quick email from the hubby telling me that he arrived safely.  I hadn't heard from him since Wednesday afternoon between flights and I was trying to keep calm.  I know from previous deployments that I have to be patient, but just because I know that doesn't mean it was easy.  I kept reminding myself that no news is good news.

Then, Friday afternoon my phone rang with a number I didn't recognize and I almost didn't answer.  Boy, am I glad I did!  It was my hero on the other end and it was so great to hear his voice.  I wasn't expecting a phone call because in the craziness of pre-deployment, we forgot to buy calling cards.  All three of the kids happened to be in the house at the time and I put the hubby on speaker but didn't tell the them who it was.  I said "Okay, say hi" and when he did, you should've seen the way their faces lit up! 

He called again late last night (his early morning) and I went to bed for the first time all week with a smile on my face.

And again this afternoon my phone rang (I don't think twice now when that number shows up on my caller I.D.) and the kids all got to say hello.  We can't wait for his internet to get hooked up so that we can Skype.  But until then I will soak up every second of every phone call and replay it in my head until the next time my phone rings.

Mixed emotions.

Alot has happened again.  We moved into a newer house on base (which is AMAZING.)  I still hate Oklahoma but at least I love my house.  Noah's finger is completely healed and will not need surgery.  Hallelujah!   The kids are out of school for the summer.  I hope I can keep them busy over the next 3 months!!

Today is the day that we've been dreading since late last year.  My hubby left for deployment.  We were able to get family gate passes so that we could wait with him there until he boarded.  It was very emotional.  He flew in civilian clothes so when we started hugging and crying we got alot of side glances and I even saw a few people roll their eyes.  It made it that much harder for me.  I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve and for people to just assume I'm overreacting to a business trip really made me upset. 

The kids had a hard time with it...especially Noah and Sophia.  Noah's old enough to understand it more than the other two.  And Sophia is so in love with her daddy that she didn't want to let go.  It was rough.

My heart is so full of love and pride for my husband, yet it is empty because he is not here.  I am fighting within myself to stay strong for my kids who need me now more than ever, but all I want to do is go to bed and not get up until these six months are over. 

Now we try to dry our eyes and hike up our boot straps and move on. Not every day will be this hard and we'll get into a routine. Soon our lives will look normal on the outside but to us each day will be anything but.  Life must go on and I pray it does so quickly!

Helpless.

That is the word that sums up my mindset these last few days. One of my very best friends is going through a really rough time right now and I can't do anything to stop it. We are seperated by many, many miles...she's in California and I'm here in South Carolina. She's hurting and I can't go over and be the shoulder to cry on, or 'kidnap' her for a night out with the girls. All I can do is pray and send her quick notes to let her know that, when she is ready, I'm here to listen. And then I pray some more.

I have always been the one to fix everything for everyone, but I can't fix this.

I don't like this feeling. Not one bit.

Eight Years!

On this day, 8 years ago, the hubby & I said our vows. I had just turned 19 and he wouldn't be 19 for another month and a half. Not many people thought we'd make it this far. But we have weathered ups & downs, kids, moves, deployments, surgeries, and stress. It wasn't always easy, and I know it won't be a bed of roses every day from here on out, but it will always be worth it.

Then:

Now:

Christmas Pics (better late than never!)

Here are a few of my favorite shots from Christmas weekend. My family (mom, dad, 2 sisters, neice and grandma) made the drive up to Charleston from West Palm Beach, FL to spend the holiday with us. It was so fun!
My silly little monkey!


My sister & niece.
My baby sister and my boys.
We love mini-golf!!
Seeeesters!